Tell her she can't have a vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sober January is a disaster.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
