Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
