why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This baby is an asshole
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
