its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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