I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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