But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
