let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
