That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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