I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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