so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
