I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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