We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
