I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
