Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
