Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
