Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
