so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
