so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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