where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
