If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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