its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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