Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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