We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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