You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
