i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
