Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
