Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
