Can i not drive my cunt home
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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