I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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