I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
