Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
