Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
