There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
