She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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