brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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