i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
