do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
