I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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