The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
