what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
