I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
