I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
