sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
