if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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