Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
