I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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