I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
