john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
