he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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