please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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