I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
